During the late night hours

I find myself working on random stuff, trying to finish work due the next day. I really need to read, and read a lot. There's reading for research, reading for history/compsci. most of it is reading that I fell behind on.

I spent this week going hectically from class to class, staying out of my room most of the time. This place has become a rathole of sorts. I need to organize my desk again. Move some books and stuff around. I've been going to gsi office hours a bit more recently. I really need help understanding things. For the oddest reason, I can't seem to answer things correctly, or give a correct response when needed. Only times I say things that are half-right are when I'm mumbling over things to myself..and I'm still off.

Even with the very few hours of sleep that I've been getting, I've gotten few things done. How sad. Yet, I've been a bit more awake in classes this week. That's a good thing. No coffee either :] But I'm below average on my quizzes. haha
Bagels bagels bagels.

This week was the end of our adventure game. Quite a few long nights spend doing that. I started watching Running Man yesterday morning at midnight :] 4 hours of really fun Koreans.

How will LW retreat go?

OMG FAIL

This weekend I went to Sierra Lodge, went kayaking, hiked a bit? (not really) and overall enjoyed myself. I got to know some people better, but I think overall, it was just a social event. I didn't really get much out of it.

College is becoming very stressful. and depressing. I've taken several midterms, got several Ds, and scarcely better scores. I'm struggling to keep up with work. I should be going to CS lecture right now. It's just I don't get what we are doing in class. I finally understand where people were coming from when they said they got behind with the subject matter. I'm drinking coffee more often. I don't know if it's because I'm too tired, or if it's just I have extra meal points... either way, not a good sign.

I've tried to be more social and go out to places, but I bet my grades and classes are suffering. I guess the way I am studying for some classes are not the best. I really need to find some people who want to study some of this stuff together. most people I know do it themselves. ugh. I never really expected to find taking this many courses to be that difficult. ha. little did I know. I talked to my faculty advisEr earlier and he recommended that I take 15+ units later. O jolly.

I want to change my predicament but school is already half-way done. D:

This is going to be a rough few weeks. I can only pray that somehow I pull through without breaking down. D:

college
I knew it'd be tough
but this is really rough
I just don't know anymore
when I look at my midterm score
I wish it could get a lot better -
an improvement in the weather
but like the lines above
my scores are low,
the difficulties mounting high.
i dont wanna die
under the pressure and stress,
but my life feels like a mess
and what am I doing
sitting here ruing,
when there is work to be done?
oh boy, what fun.

I think I've gone insane
but you must think i'm inane

Insomnia

I think I'm going crazy. I haven't been getting enough sleep. Or rather, my sleep schedule is messed up and I feel drowsy in class a lot. :/ But these weeks really go by so quickly. By the end of next week, we will have completed half the semester. I have a research paper I need to start writing up. There's also the constant midterms that I need to study for. I tried planning out my schedule for next semester this morning. I will not take as many classes. Yay. I want to live a bit healthier. And not have to be constantly working on something... ugh. work -.- Work. I think I need to work on my resume too. It needs a lot of polishing.

This week was fairly uneventful. For me. I walked out to the Sproul Speeches today but I went to class instead of Walking-out. So tired. I hope I didn't miss too much of the lecture when I was dozing/taking notes. Same with physics. Taking notes helps, but putting my head down and closing my eyes= zzZZs. I hate when I jolt awake.

I've got no poem this week.
otherwise I'd sound like a geek.
But I do want ... Back to hw