There's a February 29th this year :]
I've can't say that I've been overwhelmed with school, but I do have a busy schedule. Even though I'm only taking 12units, it's still a lot to handle while working 12-15 hours a week. Again, time just slips by and I can't really find out what I've been doing. nothing really productive, or at least not much to show. I've gotten to know people better, which is good. Just don't know where this will lead me, or what this will lead to. Yes I realize that making relationships with people is in the long run, better than finishing a project or leading an event or whatever, it's just people don't look at that when you show them a resume, and they are asking what projects did you do recently and what difficulties did you have to overcome, etc.
It's been difficult looking for internships and research, and I missed the deadline for summer on-campus IT jobs. I've been thinking that if I really want to be more involved in church, then all this other stuff about worrying over my future is just a side frill that I don't have stress myself over. In fact, someone from Lancaster emailed me today about a possible referral to LM. Really surprising. I don't know how that will turn out, but it did remind me that there are things outside of my scope of preparation that may lead me elsewhere. I tried to look for research, but none of it panned out. haha. I didn't know what to say when the professor asked "what are you good at?" What am I good at? in the lab, I have no clue...working with my hands? no lab experience. I can water your plants...wash your dishes? haha.
So I am getting baptized this Sunday. Exciting yet scary, as this is a second major decision I've made since coming to Gracepoint. It feels like a lottery who they choose to share on the big screen. Maybe me? I dont know.
I've been thinking about going to Taiwan for a semester, maybe even a year, if possible. If I don't go now, who knows when I will have another chance to do this. I guess this could be something spontaneous, but it is something I've been thinking about a lot. I've also been motivated by people encouraging me in my decision (or at least thought of deciding) to go.
About my relationships, I definitely know my peers better, but I still feel that I have not seen much change on my part on taking the initiative to get to know them more. It usually dwindles to talk about school, or mindless chatter. I do realize that we rarely bring up material that we discuss in SK1, or things that we hear during messages. Somehow, studying is always on peoples' minds, or on my mind...And I'm not sure if I'm not looking in the right places, or if I'm not asking at all, but I can't seem to find a place to meet up with people and talk about such things. I know if I quit my job...I'll have time, but eh. I really wish I would be more spontaneous in a way. I don't like being a J all the time.
It really is a struggle to mature, and not look yearningly back at years before, when I could have changed so many things... can't be dreaming my future away. lo23 you for reading this
